Laws of Nature....

There are certain immutable laws of nature. Over the course of my life, I have discovered some of them on my own. In fact, I could write a whole book of them if I had the time. But right now, I can't even find the time to work in a hair appointment, so I am just going to briefly outline a few of these.

Did you know:

-That red-based sauces of any kind (salsa, marinara, barbeque, ketchup...etc) are magnetically drawn to the fibers of clothing, both natural and synthetic, so that if you eat it, you WILL wear it. Its inevitable,

-That there is a mysterious and undisclosed substance in mascara that automatically inflames nasal passages, even though you are applying it to your eyelashes. It is fast-acting and will induce sneezing instantly BEFORE the application to your lashes has a chance to dry. The result? Tiny little black dots all around the bottom rim of your eye. My theory is that cosmetic companies add this secret ingredient because the ensuing need to retouch/reapply foundation after removing the dots increases sales.

-That your level of exhaustion will have a direct effect on how many times your dog needs to go outside to the bathroom. Don't believe me? Then just trying keeping count.

-That the intensity of a headache in a public place will exponentially increase the number of screaming children in attendance.

-That the intensity of a headache in the privacy of your home will induce vomiting in pets. Or accidents on the carpet. Or turning over of dirt-filled potted plants....etc. It also increases a dog's need to bark.

-That an important event will trigger zippers to malfunction, buttons to rip off, and stockings to develop runs, usually within 15 minutes of so prior to departure. You can ask Erica to verify this one for you.

-That if you ever feel lonely and in need of company, all you have to do is put on your oldest, most disgusting clothes reserved for yardwork or messy projects, and style your hair into a rat's nest. You will be surprised at just how many people show up to visit.

-That napping in the daytime causes phones to ring.

And that is just about all I have time for today. There are more. Many many more. I am certain that you have managed to discover a few of them yourself. Feel free to share.