A bright spot

There was a bright spot today in the sea of car problems, stove problems and the fact that we haven't even had the time to get a new roof put on after the hurricane (we have draped plastic on top of our house....again). When I got up this morning, our fridge was acting crazy. The LED read out that tells you the temp was reading 0f, instead of -4/34. Those are the ideal fridge and freezer temps, and I didn't know that until we bought this fridge. I was so upset with it, on top of everything else, that I went to work in a tizzy.

Ok, but this afternoon I set out to deal with it. Its less than a year old, so I called Samsung to see what could be done. And it makes me happy to be able to report something happy and good. First of all, after a brief recorded menu, I had an actual customer service person, a real LIVE person on the line in less than 2 minutes. She listened to the problem, put me on hold for another 2 or so minutes to look up information about this model of refrigerator. And then in 5 short minutes of a service call....gave me the answer as to how to fix it myself. Seriously, I was floored and grateful. Apparently power fluctuations can cause the thing to go into "demo" mode. All I had to do was to hold 2 buttons on the display down for 3 or 4 seconds and it just magically started working again. The display is on. The fridge is working. I could tell that while it was still working with the 0f display, it wasn't quite as cold as it usually is.

And while I can't say how aggravating it may have been if we had needed to have a repair man come out to deal with something more involved....I am happy to say that Samsung was really quick and helpful. And in today's market of pathetically poor customer service, that is something to be grateful for. And I showed both Bruce and
Stephen how to fix the problem if it happens again. Because chances are, I won't remember...LOL.

And it goes on and on and on

My stove finally gave up the ghost completely about a month ago. We have been planning meals completely around what can be cooked on a stove top, grill, microwave and toaster oven. There is no fixing it either. Its a control panel and its old enough that the part is no longer available. Bruce's car is on the fritz, too. We played musical cars today, Stephen ferrying us around trying to get the routes covered, and now its too darned late to figure out what the problem is. Its electrical...we know that much. Does it ever end? We are both tired and cranky and raw.

I do have a new stove coming next week. We have to have a very specific size, and it has to be "drop in" due to the fact that my cabinet configuration was done to make it look built-in. I like it because the sides have a lip that goes over the edges of the counter tops so nothing greasy or grungy can fall down onto the sides. Still, it makes our choices limited, and expensive. So there you go. I found one that I liked and of course it had to be ordered. Hopefully that can be dealt with and the 9 month saga of the oven that works only periodically will end.

Did I mention that I am tired??

Funeral

Barb asked, "Do you not want a funeral?". And that is a very good question. I don't know. I want my family to do whatever is comforting for them at the time. I feel like I will probably be someplace better and it won't make any difference to me. But I know that society dictates a certain etiquette, so....? I just know that for me, grief is private. What I wanted when my mother died was to have a week or so alone just to process things in my brain. Time to pull myself together, cry it all out, and try to feel like a human being again. I didn't want to answer calls, make plans, figure out food, or receive visitors until I felt like I had a handle on the situation. Then...maybe I could have handled a public funeral for people to pay their last respects. Maybe. As it was, I was so beside myself with shock that I don't remember much about that day. Those couple of days when we were doing all those necessary things to plan a funeral are a complete blur. I wouldn't have gotten through it without Bruce, I do know that. I have no idea who came, who didn't, who I spoke with or what I wore. All I remember was wanting to curl up in a ball in my bed and to be left alone. I realize everybody processes things differently, and a public funeral is expected. I seriously doubt I will be allowed to rewrite the rules anytime soon. My thoughts are just that it should be about bringing comfort to the ones still here. Of course, maybe having lots of people around to pay respects does bring comfort to some people....I will be the first to admit I am odd and reclusive. So, probably its just me. Funerals are just hard. And thats all I have to say about that.

Quote of the day

I like this quote. It seems appropriate right now:

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us." - Joseph Campbell

Bruce's father passed away quietly at home this past Friday. Jeanne called us Thursday morning, and told us that things were getting dire. Bruce immediately drove back up to Virginia and was there with him through until the end. His breathing slowed over the course of hours and finally he just didn't take another one. Its been hard. All of it. Watching him suffer through the illness, the long stay at the hospital....the whole family is sad and exhausted. But we go on because we have to.

I remember when my Mom died. One thought that occurred to me was how odd it was that life was going on normally for everybody else. People were still shopping, still going to work, putting gas in their cars, and making dinner. My world was crashing in on me and yet....the rest of the world was carrying on, business as usual. It seems like there should be at least a moment in time when there is a worldwide pause, just to commemorate a life passing. I know....not practical given how many people share the world with us. But still, something. Some acknowledgement of the moment. Not the funeral later, but the actual moment.

Dad's service was really nice. I don't really get the concept of funerals. Is the point to honor the life that has passed? I have always heard that its to give the survivors closure? Maybe its both. I just am so appalled at having to be paraded, tear-streaked face, broken heart and all, down the center aisle of a chapel full of gawkers and onlookers. And then to be expected to entertain a crowd of people afterwards? Yes, its what is expected. I know that. But to have to stand there and make trivial small talk over finger sandwiches when all I want to do is curl up in my bed and cry...its cruel and inhumane. There has got to be a better way. Or maybe its just me and my reclusive tendencies. I prefer to deal with my grief privately. But the service was nice. It was also exhausting and sad. I don't remember who I talked to, or what I said. But I got through it, and so did Bruce. At least there's that.

And now, we will have to pick up the pieces and get on with it. Its what people do.
It will be ok, but it takes time.