It goes like this.....

Every week day morning our alarm goes off at precisely 6:20 am (giving me the time necessary to make it in to my office by 8:00 with precious few seconds to spare). Consequently, our preset coffee maker is set to brew at 6:15, because waiting for coffee at such a rude and unseemly hour is just unthinkable. And every day, as that annoying buzz begins (our alarm clock has a torture feature that makes the buzzer grow progressively louder to make it harder to ignore) I have come to realize that a very similar string of thoughts play out in my head.

1. Buzzer goes off at a halfway civilized volume. It's not too threatening yet. I can ignore it and incorporate it into my dream....what's that? Maybe it's just my phone buzzing in the latest text message from Johnny Depp. Mmmmm, yeah. Definitely Johnny again. What? Didn't I tell you that Johnny texts me constantly in my dreams? LOL.

2. Buzzer begins to invade my consciousness. I WOULD regard it with growing concern, but obviously it's Saturday and we just forgot to NOT set the alarm. I only have to feel mild annoyance instead. I really must speak to my husband about not using the alarm clock on weekends. Its just the force of habit. Because it IS Saturday, right? Or Sunday? Really, I will gladly take either one. But surely that alarm has GOT to be a huge mistake. Right?

3. Buzzer is becoming increasingly obnoxious. Vulgar even. I feel offended by it. More than that, I feel positively violated by it as I begin to realize with dawning horror that
it is NOT the weekend. My mind starts racing....I could call in sick and
then snuggle right back into my dreams. Ooops, wait, already did that
LAST week when I was really sick. It probably wouldn't go over real well with the boss to do it again so soon. Damn it.

4. Buzzer is now screaming loud enough that the whole county is probably wide awake by now. I still lie, immobilized with dread, as I wildly grasp at mental straws and last ditch efforts. We could sell the house. After all, the kids are all out on their own now. We could sell everything and go be beach bums somewhere in the Caribbean. Buy a small shack, pick pineapples for a living....it would be great. Stress free, care free. I could just go
Back to sleep right now, at this one moment, and then...after we both get fired from our jobs, plan our great escape, call a realtor, google how one actually does harvest a pineapple.....

5. By now, the buzzer is deafening, so I finally reach over and shut it off. And all of this brainstorming over how to avoid starting my day has stirred up a HUGE craving for coffee. And then, oh well. Since I am up and have caffeine in hand, going on and getting ready for work seems suddenly like a whole lot less work than planning an escape. The path of least resistance, I guess. Maybe tomorrow I will come up with a more ingenious plan, or maybe it really will be Saturday. Who knows....maybe tomorrow will be the day that I wake up to an actual text from Johnny Depp. I like to believe that anything is possible.

Down, but not out

The year is young yet. Realistically, it is way too early to throw in the towel on it. But right now, my high hopes and optimism for the new year is waning a little bit. I can't seem to shake this crud. I am better, but so! Very! Tired! Not back to normal yet. And work is being it's usual beastly bitch-self. Add to that the gloomy weather...rain, and more rain, and it just hasn't lived up to my expectations.

I KNOW that turning a calendar page to a new year can't possibly just make everything all rainbows and fuzzy kittens. I also KNOW that being sick is depressing for anybody. Maybe I just need some sunshine. Not gonna happen for me tomorrow (rain here ALL day long). Good Lord, what I wouldn't give for a sunny vacation right about now. But whatever....things will look up eventually. Right?? It can't be rainy and gloomy forever........

Frustrating

Ok, so just this one last whining post about being sick and I will shut up about it. I promise. I just had thought I would be so much better today, ready to go, get things done...but then after I took a shower and got myself dressed to go run some necessary errands, I was so tired that all I wanted to do was take a nap. I didn't, and I managed to drag through what had to be done, but still.....I had a lot that I would have loved to get done and I didn't. It made me so angry at myself. Impatient. Frustrated.

This is exactly the kind of thing I want to work on this year. I always have the feeling that I am a couple of steps behind the pack. Like I just KNOW that everybody else has a clean, organized home where the laundry is always caught up. The fridge and pantry are always stocked. The family photo albums are organized neatly by the year with everything labeled. Everybody living these magical lives always has plenty of time to relax, read the latest bestseller, keep up with all the news in the world, take a nap, and whip up some gourmet meals. And here I am feeling exhausted just taking my darned library books back and picking up a few things at the store, enough to get by for a couple of days when, hopefully, I will have more time to make a plan as to what we really need. Please tell me my imagination is overworked. Does anybody else out there feel as though there are too many things to do and never enough time? Does something as common as a little virus have the ability to set you back to the point it feels like you will never catch up? Maybe my expectations are just too high. I always feel stressed on the weekend because I feel like I have to get it ALL done before the week starts all over again.

Oh well, hopefully I will be back to normal tomorrow. I am going to work either way, and would prefer to NOT feel like death warmed over on a Monday.