Saturday, June 13, 2009

Dances with Goats

I found this title appropriate only because "Dances with Wolves" is on the list of movies that my husband will watch over and over again. It was on some random channel yesterday afternoon, and although it was almost over when he found it, he watched the ending for the 18 billionth time.

But about the goats hate dancing. It freaks them out. Bruce discovered this fact when he came into the fenced yard with his mp3 player on and broke out into a little jig right there as the goats were coming up to see if he had any treats for them. The dancing scared them so bad that they spazzed out and started running sideways. If they were Australian fainting goats, they would have fallen out for sure. So Bruce reported to me later that they seriously hated dancing and of course we had to go test the theory out again.

We walked out into the yard, and pretended to just stand around and chat...long enough that the goats were calmly walking around us. And then we broke out in a dance. Sure enough, it scared the hell out of them and they scattered away running like their lives depended on it. Yeah, it sounds meaner than it was intended to be.
Its actually quite funny to see. And they get over it pretty quickly. They recover and come back to see us. They don't go hide and cower for any length of time.

But of course when Stephen came over, he wanted to test it out again. So, yeah, we did it. And the goats freaked out again. They just don't appreciate the art of dancing at ALL. Or maybe we are just not doing it right....HA! I'm guessing that its a really good thing that our backyard is surrounded by acres of trees as a buffer so that neighbors or passersby might accidentally witness this weird dancing ritual that we have going on out there. Its so fun that its practically impossible to resist breaking out in dance with those goats. And after they get over the initial shock of our dancing, the goats get really wild and playful. They have some fun with it too, its not just all "mean-spirited, let's torture the goats" stuff. They run and play and headbutt each other. Goats frolic in ways that most other animals just can't. So, come on over and we can all go outside and dance with the goats!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Dream Analysis Please.....

I had the weirdest dream last night. I was running errands, just going through a mundane, regular day, when I started noticing that everybody that I could see had a six inch statue of liberty replica in their pocket. It was one of those little cheesy types that you find in all the tourist trap stores in Times Square. Some people had one in their front pants pocket, some in the back. Some people had one in their shirt pocket, and I spotted a few ladies who had one peeking out of a pocket in their handbags. I was so caught up in checking these things out, and every single person that I saw at all the normal errand spots that I frequent had one. The grocery store, the mall, the bank....even the clerks had them.

And then I took a closer look, and noticed that every little statue had a different face. One had a baby's sleeping face, all pudgy with closed eyes. And some were men, some were women. Not anyone that I recognized, just random faces. I woke up from that feeling really unsettled like I was caught in some really bad Twilight Zone episode. It took me a while to go back to sleep. And its not like it was scary or anything, just surreal. Like a hallucination that I just wanted to shake myself out of. Funny. I wonder what a dream analyst would make out of that?

And speaking of unsettling...we just got back from the pool. We've been going occasionally in the afternoon, if we manage to get off work in time to soak up a little sun. So, anyway, there was this woman there that I haven't seen before. She was really overweight. And while that in and of itself is no biggie, there are plenty of less than perfect-sized people there, it was what she was wearing that was so frightening. She had on a bikini. Not a moderate 2 piece, that still managed to cover appropriately. But a teeny-tiny string bikini that my husband pointed out how the "strings" had all disappeared into huge folds of flesh so you could barely tell that she was wearing anything. It was obscene and disgusting. You would not even have to own a mirror to tell that it was inappropriate. You should just be able to FEEL that your straps were sucked into your "fat pockets". I noticed that people were sneaking sideways glances and talking in whispers about her. I felt bad and embarrassed for her. But you know...she must have been at least in her mid-40's, so seriously, she is old enough to know better. Most of the folks there have at least a half a sliver of decency about them. Not that there aren't some teeny tiny bikinis in the mix, but those are on the younger, thinner people who can pull that off. I know I am sounding mean, but I am afraid I might have nightmares about that tonight. And I do not want any more unsettling dreams.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Take the Guess work out....

Take the guess work out of shopping online! Seriously! I have found a new site (well, its new to me, so...) called My Shape. It takes a bit of time to set up your account because you have to measure your body all over, and fill in the info. But its FREE. And its non-judgemental, no matter what your measurements are.
And honestly, it asks you to measure practically everything. How many times have you been asked for the circumference of your thigh? But once your info is in the system, it custom selects clothing for you based on your actual measurements, like a personal shopper. It selects the size, and fit that will flatter your body the most. How easy is that?

And its not any more expensive than shopping other places really. The styles it selected for me were varied from moderate to kind of pricey. It selects pieces from all over the place. I recognized a few things from Macy's website, and the price was exactly the same. Its like being able to check several dozen online shopping sites in one place. And everything offered is YOUR size, and YOUR best styles. So cool.

Also? Once you sign up and fill out your information, you get FREE shipping and FREE RETURNS. So, if for some reason, you aren't as thrilled with something as they think you should be, you can return it with no charge. That makes it risk-free, too.
I have set up my account, and I am in the process of adding things to the wish list feature provided. I haven't actually ordered anything yet. But I will. Oh yeah, you can count on that!!! And for my girls (Erica and Hannia) IF you were to have a wish list, and IF you provided me with a link to it, anytime I got a wild desire to shop, I could buy you something you really wanted, instead of something that I think would be cute on you...LOL. One of the cool wish list features is that you can order from someone's list without ever having seen the actual size of anything. For people who are shy about what size they wear, I guess.

For me, sizes are nothing more than arbitrary numbers proven by the fact that MY personal shopping list offers me clothing with a variety of different sizes. It goes by your measurements, so while you might wear a 10 in one thing, it might be an 8 or 12 or whatever in another item. I love that, because trying to order clothing online, without being able to try it on is difficult. There really should be some kind of sizing standard, but until there is, I can let someone else do the work for me! Yay!