I am SOOOO Happy

Really, I am extremely happy right now. If you know us, as a family, very well at all, then you also are probably aware of the rift between my husband and my sister. They haven't spoken to each other in about 5 years. And while its not terribly difficult to carry on not speaking when you live in different states, it still is tragic, and has been very hard for me. The incident that precipated this saga is not important, and in fact, I wasn't even there, so I don't know the whole story. Let's let sleeping dogs lie for now. But what IS important is that my husband went down to SC for his high school reunion this weekend. And, whether on a whim, or whether he planned it, he stopped by my sister's house and now....they are speaking again. I don't know how but I don't care. I am just grateful.

I feel as though a huge heavy stone has been taken off my neck.

I didn't go the the reunion with Bruce. For one thing, I didn't go to this high school. And we are leaving for Puerto Rico in a couple of weeks, so I didn't want to take off and travel right now. But the main reason? Is that I did not want to go to SC and not be able to see or stay with my sister and her family. And I just didn't see how I could, unless I stayed, and Bruce went to a hotel. How strange would that have felt?

I can't explain how difficult this whole thing has been. Its impossible to take sides when it involves your husband, the man who fathered your children, and the only other living human being who shares that peculiar mix of DNA from both of your parents. The only other person who knows every single detail of what your childhood was like. And my childhood? It was strange. It was not abusive. I was not neglected or beaten or tortured. But my family was private to the point of being secretive. There were so many things that I have found out later, as an adult, that gave me some of those "A-Ha!" moments. So thats why this was the way it was.....Some day, I really do want to try to write it all down. If for no other reason than to try and make sense of it all in my head. But there are still things that I just have to fill in the blanks with my imagination because the delusions, and secrets were really just that good. But now is not the time for that. My sister is the only other person who gets that our childhood was one of those things that you will never quite understand unless you lived it. You just had to be there.

And now I am celebrating because its over and we can all visit again. Be normal again. It is so wonderful to me, and I am so thankful and proud of my husband for having the fortitude to let go of anger and try to make amends. I think he just racked up a whole boatload of good karma this weekend.