Notes

-To the woman in the green buick on Arlington Blvd. this afternoon:

I understand what it feels like to NOT know where you are going. Believe me, I am extremely directionally challenged. But Bitch, Please! Go and buy yourself a Garmin because seriously, that creeping along, braking at every single cross street, weaving into the turning lane only to dart right back out into a lane of moving traffic....You are going to KILL somebody. Unless somebody (like me) kills you first. It took every ounce of self-restraint that I had not to run you down and beat you like a red-headed step monkey.

-To the creep who stole my husband's MP3 player:

I hope Karma serves you well. It was out of his sight for less than a minute. Hopefully you won't have the charging device and it will die before you have a chance to enjoy your stolen bounty. Also? I hope you hate every single song that was uploaded onto it.

-To the new supervisor at my office:

I know I try NOT to discuss work on a public forum like this, but seriously.....making us all wait for you to scan that crap ON A FRIDAY, after we ALL watched you play stupid video games on the computer all morning. Not cool. I need to tell you that you look like Uncle Fester from the "Addams Family", and I want nothing more than to shove a light bulb in your mouth. Also? I hope you lost every single game that you played today. I have a feeling that you aren't going to be around for too long.

-To my little goat buddies:

You are adorable. Seriously. I love you to pieces. But if you manage to jump over the new gate that we are going to spend our whole weekend working on, I have a feeling that you are going to find yourselves in the back of that truck heading for a new home. Or worse....Bruce might just fire up the grill and have some people over for a cookout. Goat burgers anyone?

-To the woman who got on my nerves in Body Flow class last night:

Bitch please!!! Hannia and I got there in time to get a decent spot. We did NOT appreciate your wedging your yoga mat right there in our faces, leaving us with barely enough room to get through the routine. Also? I HATE having strangers touch me. If you are touching other people during floor exercises that means that you are too damned close. MOVE! And....if you stomp all over me again because you are too rude to stay for the meditation at the end, I swear, I am going to grab your foot and trip you. And I am going to laugh about it, too.

And now, I've vented and I feel better. Hopefully this weekend is going to be more peaceful than this week was.