I guess I am growing up (finally)

Maybe I am growing up. Ok, I KNOW that I am 49 years old, with a husband, 2 grown children, a daughter-in-law, a full time job and a house to take care of. You would think that would make me an adult by default, wouldn't you? But no, because I still feel like I am playing house, waiting for the "real" adults to step in when a problem arises. And yet, maybe I am finally becoming the "real" adult. My first hint of this was over the upcoming holiday. I admit it, I was sad that Erica had to leave for the UK before Christmas. And then when Hannia's family made plans to have Christmas in Texas, I was sad all over again. Christmas without either of my kids???? I knew it was inevitable at some point, seeing as how they are both grown with lives of their own.....but I really REALLY was hoping that day was some time in the far distant future. Oh well....

Stephen has not been certain he would be able to go with Hannia. Time constraints (her parents are driving and its 23 plus hours WITHOUT the stops) are making it difficult. And money factors in as airfare is expensive this time of the year. Its still not clear whether or not he can go. They are watching airfare prices and hoping for a last minute drop. If not, Hannia may still go with her parents to help drive. For a while, I was selfishly kind of hoping he would be home. With us. At least one of my children here for Christmas. But over the past few days, I realized that I was hoping he could go. Would go. Because it will be sad to be away from Hannia for the holiday. And we will be fine. Really, we are going to be relaxing and enjoying the end of the most hectic time of the year at work. I am making a dinner, but nothing too over the top complicated. A few goodies....a few presents....mainly just laid back relaxation. We have invited Chris and Jessica to be with us....And I am ok with all of that. And that fact? The fact that I would rather him go be with Hannia and have a Happy Holiday someplace else, someplace away from his family? That is the proof that I am all grown up and ready to accept that life is all about changes. And changes don't mean "bad". Just different. And we can all have fun and be happy even if we aren't in the same place on Christmas Day. I feel like I need some kind of rite of passage ceremony to celebrate my newly found grown-up-edness. LOL!!