Malaise

I am in a state of general malaise right now. I just don't feel well. Nothing hurts more than usual, no sign of stuffiness or cough, no stomach pain. Nothing but incredible fatigue and just....uneasiness. I am so tired. I slept like the dead last night. I came home and took a 2 hour nap of deep heavy sleep. The kind that you wake up from not knowing what day it is. And now, at not even 8pm I feel as though I could go right back to bed and sleep through the night. Maybe even through the rest of the week. I have no idea what is going on.

It could just be that aftermath of the holidays forcing some recuperation time. My job is my worst nightmare during Christmas. It takes a toll. Or maybe I am coming down with something. Colds, flu....its all over the place right now. It doesn't feel quite like that though. I have felt like this for several days. Generally if it was a cold or flu, I would have succumbed and be sick by now. I'm not sick. Not exactly well, but not really sick. I don't know. I am not worrying about it like a hypochondriac. But I AM tired of it. I would love to wake up and feel fantastic, rested, energetic and ready to take on the day. Maybe its the weather. Its been cold and gray and depressing for a while now. I just don't know. If it continues into the next week or so, I guess I will head to the Doc for another blood test. If rest won't cure it then it is most likely my thyroid medication being out of whack. Its a tricky thing, keeping those thyroid hormones balanced when you have to do it synthetically.

Oh well, whatever it is, hopefully its just temporary. I am longing for spring. For sun, and being able to walk outside without bundling up. I keep looking at online clothing catalogs....waiting for the new season of spring clothes. That always cheers me up. Most places haven't fully posted their new spring lines, but things are starting to trickle in here and there. Sundresses and sandals. I won't allow myself to think so far ahead as to get into the heinous heat of summer. But Spring.....that would be very welcome right about now. Clearly I need a year of 2 seasons: Spring followed by fall followed by spring again. Is that asking too much?