Phobia

A friend asked if I had any idea how I came to have such a snake phobia. The actual word is "Ophidiophobia" or a fear of all kinds of snakes. Besides the fact that the fear of snakes is fairly common, probably due to the fact that some snakes are highly venomous, I think I do know why I am scared to death of these scaly, slithering critters.

When I was about 4 years old (I know that only because we moved from that house when I was 4 and 1/2, so that has to be fairly accurate) I walked up on a huge black snake lying in the grass in our backyard. I reached down to pick it up out of curiosity (I guess it was my first encounter...?) and it moved. I thought it was a piece of wire or something NOT alive, so when it moved it scared the crap out of me, and I ran up our back steps screaming at the top of my lungs. Scary enough, but what happened next was probably what set the fear in my brain for all eternity.

My Mom looked out to see why I was so upset, and she? She flipped out. Like totally, completely lost her mind. She grabbed me up and pressed me into her chest. She was screaming for my Dad, and sobbing hysterically as if the absolute worst thing in the world had befallen me.

My father went out and apparently killed it. And there was a lot of commotion as neighbors from all over our street came to check out this thing. They told me (years later) that it was HUGE. But as big as it was, it was still a harmless black snake. I remember being smothered in my Mom's arms as she rocked me in a rocking chair. She was still sobbing and checking me out to make sure I hadn't been bitten.
I wanted to go look out the window and see what everybody was doing out there. We could hear them....lots of people hanging around for the excitement. But I was held captive as my mother had an all-out conniption. She wouldn't let me look at the awful thing going on out in the yard. And I ...I could only assume that it must be something monsterous. Something so heinous and frightening and vile that I had come close to dying by even being near it. And the fear has stuck to me like glue.

I am not just afraid of snakes. I have this reaction that is completely out of my control. I lose my ability to think straight. Its more like a "react first, think about it later" kind of thing. Would I have jumped off of that steep slope if I had happened on a rattlesnake on Sunday? I hate to say it because it sounds so stupid, but honestly? I may have with no thought other than to get away from the thing. Get away first, worry about falling off a mountain second. Its completely illogical seeing as how someone would most likely survive a snakebite more than a tumble off of a cliff, but...? My brain doesn't work right when I see a snake. Oh well, it didn't happen, thankfully...mercifully. I still have a creepy crawly kind of feeling just knowing that snakes hang out there where I was climbing around. I have actually considered going through some therapy to try to get rid of the phobia. But for the most part, it doesn't affect my life all that much. I avoid snake places, and that generally works....