There was a bright spot today in the sea of car problems, stove problems and the fact that we haven't even had the time to get a new roof put on after the hurricane (we have draped plastic on top of our house....again). When I got up this morning, our fridge was acting crazy. The LED read out that tells you the temp was reading 0f, instead of -4/34. Those are the ideal fridge and freezer temps, and I didn't know that until we bought this fridge. I was so upset with it, on top of everything else, that I went to work in a tizzy.
Ok, but this afternoon I set out to deal with it. Its less than a year old, so I called Samsung to see what could be done. And it makes me happy to be able to report something happy and good. First of all, after a brief recorded menu, I had an actual customer service person, a real LIVE person on the line in less than 2 minutes. She listened to the problem, put me on hold for another 2 or so minutes to look up information about this model of refrigerator. And then in 5 short minutes of a service call....gave me the answer as to how to fix it myself. Seriously, I was floored and grateful. Apparently power fluctuations can cause the thing to go into "demo" mode. All I had to do was to hold 2 buttons on the display down for 3 or 4 seconds and it just magically started working again. The display is on. The fridge is working. I could tell that while it was still working with the 0f display, it wasn't quite as cold as it usually is.
And while I can't say how aggravating it may have been if we had needed to have a repair man come out to deal with something more involved....I am happy to say that Samsung was really quick and helpful. And in today's market of pathetically poor customer service, that is something to be grateful for. And I showed both Bruce and
Stephen how to fix the problem if it happens again. Because chances are, I won't remember...LOL.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
And it goes on and on and on
My stove finally gave up the ghost completely about a month ago. We have been planning meals completely around what can be cooked on a stove top, grill, microwave and toaster oven. There is no fixing it either. Its a control panel and its old enough that the part is no longer available. Bruce's car is on the fritz, too. We played musical cars today, Stephen ferrying us around trying to get the routes covered, and now its too darned late to figure out what the problem is. Its electrical...we know that much. Does it ever end? We are both tired and cranky and raw.
I do have a new stove coming next week. We have to have a very specific size, and it has to be "drop in" due to the fact that my cabinet configuration was done to make it look built-in. I like it because the sides have a lip that goes over the edges of the counter tops so nothing greasy or grungy can fall down onto the sides. Still, it makes our choices limited, and expensive. So there you go. I found one that I liked and of course it had to be ordered. Hopefully that can be dealt with and the 9 month saga of the oven that works only periodically will end.
Did I mention that I am tired??
I do have a new stove coming next week. We have to have a very specific size, and it has to be "drop in" due to the fact that my cabinet configuration was done to make it look built-in. I like it because the sides have a lip that goes over the edges of the counter tops so nothing greasy or grungy can fall down onto the sides. Still, it makes our choices limited, and expensive. So there you go. I found one that I liked and of course it had to be ordered. Hopefully that can be dealt with and the 9 month saga of the oven that works only periodically will end.
Did I mention that I am tired??
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Funeral
Barb asked, "Do you not want a funeral?". And that is a very good question. I don't know. I want my family to do whatever is comforting for them at the time. I feel like I will probably be someplace better and it won't make any difference to me. But I know that society dictates a certain etiquette, so....? I just know that for me, grief is private. What I wanted when my mother died was to have a week or so alone just to process things in my brain. Time to pull myself together, cry it all out, and try to feel like a human being again. I didn't want to answer calls, make plans, figure out food, or receive visitors until I felt like I had a handle on the situation. Then...maybe I could have handled a public funeral for people to pay their last respects. Maybe. As it was, I was so beside myself with shock that I don't remember much about that day. Those couple of days when we were doing all those necessary things to plan a funeral are a complete blur. I wouldn't have gotten through it without Bruce, I do know that. I have no idea who came, who didn't, who I spoke with or what I wore. All I remember was wanting to curl up in a ball in my bed and to be left alone. I realize everybody processes things differently, and a public funeral is expected. I seriously doubt I will be allowed to rewrite the rules anytime soon. My thoughts are just that it should be about bringing comfort to the ones still here. Of course, maybe having lots of people around to pay respects does bring comfort to some people....I will be the first to admit I am odd and reclusive. So, probably its just me. Funerals are just hard. And thats all I have to say about that.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Quote of the day
I like this quote. It seems appropriate right now:
"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us." - Joseph Campbell
Bruce's father passed away quietly at home this past Friday. Jeanne called us Thursday morning, and told us that things were getting dire. Bruce immediately drove back up to Virginia and was there with him through until the end. His breathing slowed over the course of hours and finally he just didn't take another one. Its been hard. All of it. Watching him suffer through the illness, the long stay at the hospital....the whole family is sad and exhausted. But we go on because we have to.
I remember when my Mom died. One thought that occurred to me was how odd it was that life was going on normally for everybody else. People were still shopping, still going to work, putting gas in their cars, and making dinner. My world was crashing in on me and yet....the rest of the world was carrying on, business as usual. It seems like there should be at least a moment in time when there is a worldwide pause, just to commemorate a life passing. I know....not practical given how many people share the world with us. But still, something. Some acknowledgement of the moment. Not the funeral later, but the actual moment.
Dad's service was really nice. I don't really get the concept of funerals. Is the point to honor the life that has passed? I have always heard that its to give the survivors closure? Maybe its both. I just am so appalled at having to be paraded, tear-streaked face, broken heart and all, down the center aisle of a chapel full of gawkers and onlookers. And then to be expected to entertain a crowd of people afterwards? Yes, its what is expected. I know that. But to have to stand there and make trivial small talk over finger sandwiches when all I want to do is curl up in my bed and cry...its cruel and inhumane. There has got to be a better way. Or maybe its just me and my reclusive tendencies. I prefer to deal with my grief privately. But the service was nice. It was also exhausting and sad. I don't remember who I talked to, or what I said. But I got through it, and so did Bruce. At least there's that.
And now, we will have to pick up the pieces and get on with it. Its what people do.
It will be ok, but it takes time.
"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us." - Joseph Campbell
Bruce's father passed away quietly at home this past Friday. Jeanne called us Thursday morning, and told us that things were getting dire. Bruce immediately drove back up to Virginia and was there with him through until the end. His breathing slowed over the course of hours and finally he just didn't take another one. Its been hard. All of it. Watching him suffer through the illness, the long stay at the hospital....the whole family is sad and exhausted. But we go on because we have to.
I remember when my Mom died. One thought that occurred to me was how odd it was that life was going on normally for everybody else. People were still shopping, still going to work, putting gas in their cars, and making dinner. My world was crashing in on me and yet....the rest of the world was carrying on, business as usual. It seems like there should be at least a moment in time when there is a worldwide pause, just to commemorate a life passing. I know....not practical given how many people share the world with us. But still, something. Some acknowledgement of the moment. Not the funeral later, but the actual moment.
Dad's service was really nice. I don't really get the concept of funerals. Is the point to honor the life that has passed? I have always heard that its to give the survivors closure? Maybe its both. I just am so appalled at having to be paraded, tear-streaked face, broken heart and all, down the center aisle of a chapel full of gawkers and onlookers. And then to be expected to entertain a crowd of people afterwards? Yes, its what is expected. I know that. But to have to stand there and make trivial small talk over finger sandwiches when all I want to do is curl up in my bed and cry...its cruel and inhumane. There has got to be a better way. Or maybe its just me and my reclusive tendencies. I prefer to deal with my grief privately. But the service was nice. It was also exhausting and sad. I don't remember who I talked to, or what I said. But I got through it, and so did Bruce. At least there's that.
And now, we will have to pick up the pieces and get on with it. Its what people do.
It will be ok, but it takes time.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Klassy
Dear Driver of the monstrous white SUV who parked beside of me at Target,
I bite my tongue and try hard not to judge you based on the offensively large, gas guzzling vehicle that you choose to drive. Even when your obnoxious SUV blocks any view for pulling out of a parking space, or seeing if the traffic light ahead is turning yellow. Its your right to drive whatever you want, ecology be damned. But the thing that I can NOT tolerate is the way that you side-swiped my car, leaving white scratches down the driver's side as you pulled your yacht sized automobile out of the parking space. I was inside of my yellow lines. I know that for a fact, because I checked. I checked because I took notice of the fact that I was pulling in beside a ginormous white SUV, and wanted to make sure you had plenty of room to pull out. Clearly I didn't take your lack of driving skills into consideration. Thanks ever so much for the scratches, and the tattered shreds of the rubber striping down the side of my car. How nice of you to leave the scene without a note of apology. Very "klassy" of you. I wish I had gotten your license plate number, but I didn't. Although....I may actually take the time to jot that down the next time I park beside an SUV larger than anything on wheels should ever be. I take it back...I DO judge you, and unfortunately, you proved my judgement correct. I hope my car gave you some big blue streaks from where you hit me. Moron.
I bite my tongue and try hard not to judge you based on the offensively large, gas guzzling vehicle that you choose to drive. Even when your obnoxious SUV blocks any view for pulling out of a parking space, or seeing if the traffic light ahead is turning yellow. Its your right to drive whatever you want, ecology be damned. But the thing that I can NOT tolerate is the way that you side-swiped my car, leaving white scratches down the driver's side as you pulled your yacht sized automobile out of the parking space. I was inside of my yellow lines. I know that for a fact, because I checked. I checked because I took notice of the fact that I was pulling in beside a ginormous white SUV, and wanted to make sure you had plenty of room to pull out. Clearly I didn't take your lack of driving skills into consideration. Thanks ever so much for the scratches, and the tattered shreds of the rubber striping down the side of my car. How nice of you to leave the scene without a note of apology. Very "klassy" of you. I wish I had gotten your license plate number, but I didn't. Although....I may actually take the time to jot that down the next time I park beside an SUV larger than anything on wheels should ever be. I take it back...I DO judge you, and unfortunately, you proved my judgement correct. I hope my car gave you some big blue streaks from where you hit me. Moron.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
If you could....
1) live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Oh my Lord, I have so many places that I don't know how to narrow it down. I LOVE Puerto Rico and I could see me living happily ever after there. Maybe a little Italian village? Midtown Manhattan? A mountain lake house in the southeastern US?
I could be happy any of those places. It probably boils down to where my friends and family are really.
2) change anything about your body, what would it be?
I would say bye-bye to the thyroid disease. It has wreaked so much havoc that I don't even feel like myself most of the time. I think of my life in terms of before and after hypothyroidism. But what can you do but keep on chugging along?
3) go to your perfect job, what would it be?
Eccentric novelist...the reclusive kind who spends lots and lots of time churning out intriguing entertainment for anyone who loves to read. I don't even pretend to care about writing masterpieces. I think its the reclusive lifestyle that interests me more than the writing part.
4) change anything about your partner, what would it be?
Oh My God, I love him. He is "almost" perfect. But if we could lose the snoring so I can get a good nights sleep in my own bed, it would be wonderful.
5) have dinner with a celebrity, who would you choose?
I have been in love with Roger Taylor (Queen) since I was like 15 years old. He is my ideal dinner partner, unquestionably.
6) be invisible for a week, what would you do?
That would be such a fun filled week!! One thing would be to mess around with some folks that aren't on my "favorite's list" as much as possible. Maybe sneak in, and rearrange their furniture, hide their keys, whisper in their ears until they commit themselves to a mental health facility. Oh the fun I could have.....
7) tell someone the absolute truth what would you say?
I would tell my father that the most hurtful part of what he did to me, and to our family was to lie. Or maybe not. Its actually not that important to me anymore. For the most part, I think I have been pretty straightforward about all the things that really matter, so I don't think I could say anything that anybody wouldn't know already.
8) have a talent that you don't have now, what would it be?
I wish I could sing without scaring people. Seriously.
9) see someone who has died just for an hour, just to talk, who would you want to see?
My mother. I still really miss her pretty much every single day. I am always thinking of things I wish I could tell her, or see something that makes me think of her. An hour isn't much time, but oh if I really could have it....
10) be the opposite sex, who would you want to look like?
Heath Ledger, no wait...Johnny Depp...I don't know. Who cares? I have no desire to be a man even for a day. And I would much prefer to look AT Johnny Depp, than to look LIKE him.
11) take one thing back that you've said to someone, what would it be?
This one is difficult. I can't single out a specific thing. I know there were plenty of times that I got frustrated and spoke sharply to my husband or my children.
I wish I had more patience and the ability to stay calm when chaos strikes. I need to think about this one a bit more.
12) pick the time of your death, when would you want it to be?
The literal time? Because really, I don't care. The time of my life would obviously be when I had lived a good long time, and my death was swift and painless.
13) pick an actress to play you in the movie of your life, who is closest to what you really look like and could play your personality well?
When I was younger, maybe Goldie Hawn. Slightly ditzy definitely blonde but with a good heart. I don't think I really look like her though. Maybe a neurotic Meg Ryan?
Although people have said I remind them of Melanie Griffith, so....yeah. Any one of those ladies could probably play me better than I can be myself.
14) change your name to any other, what would it be?
I like old-fashioned classic names like Sarah, Olivia, or Lavinia, maybe Cassandra. Clearly, I also really liked Erica, too. Definitely NOT a cutesy trendy name with a funky spelling. If not Sarah, then maybe a name that is not necessarily a name. Like Absinthe, or Willow, or Zinnia. I would have to think about this some more. But since I am perfectly ok with being Rebecca, I probably won't waste any more time on it.
1) live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Oh my Lord, I have so many places that I don't know how to narrow it down. I LOVE Puerto Rico and I could see me living happily ever after there. Maybe a little Italian village? Midtown Manhattan? A mountain lake house in the southeastern US?
I could be happy any of those places. It probably boils down to where my friends and family are really.
2) change anything about your body, what would it be?
I would say bye-bye to the thyroid disease. It has wreaked so much havoc that I don't even feel like myself most of the time. I think of my life in terms of before and after hypothyroidism. But what can you do but keep on chugging along?
3) go to your perfect job, what would it be?
Eccentric novelist...the reclusive kind who spends lots and lots of time churning out intriguing entertainment for anyone who loves to read. I don't even pretend to care about writing masterpieces. I think its the reclusive lifestyle that interests me more than the writing part.
4) change anything about your partner, what would it be?
Oh My God, I love him. He is "almost" perfect. But if we could lose the snoring so I can get a good nights sleep in my own bed, it would be wonderful.
5) have dinner with a celebrity, who would you choose?
I have been in love with Roger Taylor (Queen) since I was like 15 years old. He is my ideal dinner partner, unquestionably.
6) be invisible for a week, what would you do?
That would be such a fun filled week!! One thing would be to mess around with some folks that aren't on my "favorite's list" as much as possible. Maybe sneak in, and rearrange their furniture, hide their keys, whisper in their ears until they commit themselves to a mental health facility. Oh the fun I could have.....
7) tell someone the absolute truth what would you say?
I would tell my father that the most hurtful part of what he did to me, and to our family was to lie. Or maybe not. Its actually not that important to me anymore. For the most part, I think I have been pretty straightforward about all the things that really matter, so I don't think I could say anything that anybody wouldn't know already.
8) have a talent that you don't have now, what would it be?
I wish I could sing without scaring people. Seriously.
9) see someone who has died just for an hour, just to talk, who would you want to see?
My mother. I still really miss her pretty much every single day. I am always thinking of things I wish I could tell her, or see something that makes me think of her. An hour isn't much time, but oh if I really could have it....
10) be the opposite sex, who would you want to look like?
Heath Ledger, no wait...Johnny Depp...I don't know. Who cares? I have no desire to be a man even for a day. And I would much prefer to look AT Johnny Depp, than to look LIKE him.
11) take one thing back that you've said to someone, what would it be?
This one is difficult. I can't single out a specific thing. I know there were plenty of times that I got frustrated and spoke sharply to my husband or my children.
I wish I had more patience and the ability to stay calm when chaos strikes. I need to think about this one a bit more.
12) pick the time of your death, when would you want it to be?
The literal time? Because really, I don't care. The time of my life would obviously be when I had lived a good long time, and my death was swift and painless.
13) pick an actress to play you in the movie of your life, who is closest to what you really look like and could play your personality well?
When I was younger, maybe Goldie Hawn. Slightly ditzy definitely blonde but with a good heart. I don't think I really look like her though. Maybe a neurotic Meg Ryan?
Although people have said I remind them of Melanie Griffith, so....yeah. Any one of those ladies could probably play me better than I can be myself.
14) change your name to any other, what would it be?
I like old-fashioned classic names like Sarah, Olivia, or Lavinia, maybe Cassandra. Clearly, I also really liked Erica, too. Definitely NOT a cutesy trendy name with a funky spelling. If not Sarah, then maybe a name that is not necessarily a name. Like Absinthe, or Willow, or Zinnia. I would have to think about this some more. But since I am perfectly ok with being Rebecca, I probably won't waste any more time on it.
I will be back
I'm still here. Its just been busy/awful/insane lately. Let me update you briefly on what all has gone on since I last wrote:
Bruce's father has been diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma, so he is really sick. Bruce has spent a lot of time with him, and I have been to see him whenever I could beyond work. Its not always possible for both of us to be absent from work, and the bottom line is that its HIS father and he is not going to be happy unless he can be there to make sure things are being done properly. Dad needs a lot of care right now...round the clock care. The family has all pitched in and pulled together to try and do the best for him that we can. He is home now, and much happier. And we will continue to make sure he is taken care of. We have interviewed care givers and feel confident that we have found some good help. And that is a wonderful thing right now.
Stephen and Hannia have left Indiana and moved back home. They are staying with us temporarily, and honestly? It has been a God-send. My spirits are lifted just being able to see them, and they have been so much help while Bruce has needed to be with his Dad. Its funny, in a sad kind of way....they moved their furniture into our garage until they can get moved into an apartment (most likely in Durham). Bruce had said, "Oh yeah, the stuff will be just fine there....unless we have a hurricane or something". Well, yeah....1 week later Irene shows up. But their stuff stayed nice and dry, thanks to all the weather-proofing Stephen did.
We got a pretty good hit by Irene here. We lost electricity for over 24 hours (some people here in this county went 5 days without it.). We had roof damage and damage to the barn out back. We are grateful it wasn't worse. Stephen was a HUGE help in getting ready for the storm AND in the clean up afterwards. He had all the limbs and branches cleaned up by the time we got home from Danville, and believe me, that was a really nice thing to come home to.
Erica is still moving to York, most likely around December 1. She is busy writing her dissertation but has managed to visit with us and her Grandfather a couple of times over the past 2 weeks. It has been so nice to see her. I feel like I need to soak up all the time together that I can before she moves "across the pond". We need to get busy trying to get her ready, but there is still time this fall. Things are so much more expensive over there in the UK that I want her to go stocked up with essential clothing, household items like sheets and towels, etc....and rain gear. Apparently she is going to need really good rain gear, too. LOL.
So thats the gist of it. Busy, busy and not much leisure time. But it is what it is and we will be ok. I may not be updating the blog as much as I would like over the next little while. I will do the best that I can but not making any promises. Besides, I keep hearing we have yet another hurricane on track to potentially hit us again. Katia...? Much too close to the name "Katrina", and I am not especially happy about it.
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