Quote of the day

I like this quote. It seems appropriate right now:

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us." - Joseph Campbell

Bruce's father passed away quietly at home this past Friday. Jeanne called us Thursday morning, and told us that things were getting dire. Bruce immediately drove back up to Virginia and was there with him through until the end. His breathing slowed over the course of hours and finally he just didn't take another one. Its been hard. All of it. Watching him suffer through the illness, the long stay at the hospital....the whole family is sad and exhausted. But we go on because we have to.

I remember when my Mom died. One thought that occurred to me was how odd it was that life was going on normally for everybody else. People were still shopping, still going to work, putting gas in their cars, and making dinner. My world was crashing in on me and yet....the rest of the world was carrying on, business as usual. It seems like there should be at least a moment in time when there is a worldwide pause, just to commemorate a life passing. I know....not practical given how many people share the world with us. But still, something. Some acknowledgement of the moment. Not the funeral later, but the actual moment.

Dad's service was really nice. I don't really get the concept of funerals. Is the point to honor the life that has passed? I have always heard that its to give the survivors closure? Maybe its both. I just am so appalled at having to be paraded, tear-streaked face, broken heart and all, down the center aisle of a chapel full of gawkers and onlookers. And then to be expected to entertain a crowd of people afterwards? Yes, its what is expected. I know that. But to have to stand there and make trivial small talk over finger sandwiches when all I want to do is curl up in my bed and cry...its cruel and inhumane. There has got to be a better way. Or maybe its just me and my reclusive tendencies. I prefer to deal with my grief privately. But the service was nice. It was also exhausting and sad. I don't remember who I talked to, or what I said. But I got through it, and so did Bruce. At least there's that.

And now, we will have to pick up the pieces and get on with it. Its what people do.
It will be ok, but it takes time.