If you could....
1) live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Oh my Lord, I have so many places that I don't know how to narrow it down. I LOVE Puerto Rico and I could see me living happily ever after there. Maybe a little Italian village? Midtown Manhattan? A mountain lake house in the southeastern US?
I could be happy any of those places. It probably boils down to where my friends and family are really.

2) change anything about your body, what would it be?

I would say bye-bye to the thyroid disease. It has wreaked so much havoc that I don't even feel like myself most of the time. I think of my life in terms of before and after hypothyroidism. But what can you do but keep on chugging along?

3) go to your perfect job, what would it be?

Eccentric novelist...the reclusive kind who spends lots and lots of time churning out intriguing entertainment for anyone who loves to read. I don't even pretend to care about writing masterpieces. I think its the reclusive lifestyle that interests me more than the writing part.

4) change anything about your partner, what would it be?

Oh My God, I love him. He is "almost" perfect. But if we could lose the snoring so I can get a good nights sleep in my own bed, it would be wonderful.

5) have dinner with a celebrity, who would you choose?

I have been in love with Roger Taylor (Queen) since I was like 15 years old. He is my ideal dinner partner, unquestionably.

6) be invisible for a week, what would you do?

That would be such a fun filled week!! One thing would be to mess around with some folks that aren't on my "favorite's list" as much as possible. Maybe sneak in, and rearrange their furniture, hide their keys, whisper in their ears until they commit themselves to a mental health facility. Oh the fun I could have.....

7) tell someone the absolute truth what would you say?

I would tell my father that the most hurtful part of what he did to me, and to our family was to lie. Or maybe not. Its actually not that important to me anymore. For the most part, I think I have been pretty straightforward about all the things that really matter, so I don't think I could say anything that anybody wouldn't know already.

8) have a talent that you don't have now, what would it be?

I wish I could sing without scaring people. Seriously.

9) see someone who has died just for an hour, just to talk, who would you want to see?

My mother. I still really miss her pretty much every single day. I am always thinking of things I wish I could tell her, or see something that makes me think of her. An hour isn't much time, but oh if I really could have it....



10) be the opposite sex, who would you want to look like?

Heath Ledger, no wait...Johnny Depp...I don't know. Who cares? I have no desire to be a man even for a day. And I would much prefer to look AT Johnny Depp, than to look LIKE him.

11) take one thing back that you've said to someone, what would it be?

This one is difficult. I can't single out a specific thing. I know there were plenty of times that I got frustrated and spoke sharply to my husband or my children.
I wish I had more patience and the ability to stay calm when chaos strikes. I need to think about this one a bit more.

12) pick the time of your death, when would you want it to be?

The literal time? Because really, I don't care. The time of my life would obviously be when I had lived a good long time, and my death was swift and painless.

13) pick an actress to play you in the movie of your life, who is closest to what you really look like and could play your personality well?

When I was younger, maybe Goldie Hawn. Slightly ditzy definitely blonde but with a good heart. I don't think I really look like her though. Maybe a neurotic Meg Ryan?
Although people have said I remind them of Melanie Griffith, so....yeah. Any one of those ladies could probably play me better than I can be myself.

14) change your name to any other, what would it be?

I like old-fashioned classic names like Sarah, Olivia, or Lavinia, maybe Cassandra. Clearly, I also really liked Erica, too. Definitely NOT a cutesy trendy name with a funky spelling. If not Sarah, then maybe a name that is not necessarily a name. Like Absinthe, or Willow, or Zinnia. I would have to think about this some more. But since I am perfectly ok with being Rebecca, I probably won't waste any more time on it.

I will be back

I'm still here. Its just been busy/awful/insane lately. Let me update you briefly on what all has gone on since I last wrote:

Bruce's father has been diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma, so he is really sick. Bruce has spent a lot of time with him, and I have been to see him whenever I could beyond work. Its not always possible for both of us to be absent from work, and the bottom line is that its HIS father and he is not going to be happy unless he can be there to make sure things are being done properly. Dad needs a lot of care right now...round the clock care. The family has all pitched in and pulled together to try and do the best for him that we can. He is home now, and much happier. And we will continue to make sure he is taken care of. We have interviewed care givers and feel confident that we have found some good help. And that is a wonderful thing right now.

Stephen and Hannia have left Indiana and moved back home. They are staying with us temporarily, and honestly? It has been a God-send. My spirits are lifted just being able to see them, and they have been so much help while Bruce has needed to be with his Dad. Its funny, in a sad kind of way....they moved their furniture into our garage until they can get moved into an apartment (most likely in Durham). Bruce had said, "Oh yeah, the stuff will be just fine there....unless we have a hurricane or something". Well, yeah....1 week later Irene shows up. But their stuff stayed nice and dry, thanks to all the weather-proofing Stephen did.

We got a pretty good hit by Irene here. We lost electricity for over 24 hours (some people here in this county went 5 days without it.). We had roof damage and damage to the barn out back. We are grateful it wasn't worse. Stephen was a HUGE help in getting ready for the storm AND in the clean up afterwards. He had all the limbs and branches cleaned up by the time we got home from Danville, and believe me, that was a really nice thing to come home to.

Erica is still moving to York, most likely around December 1. She is busy writing her dissertation but has managed to visit with us and her Grandfather a couple of times over the past 2 weeks. It has been so nice to see her. I feel like I need to soak up all the time together that I can before she moves "across the pond". We need to get busy trying to get her ready, but there is still time this fall. Things are so much more expensive over there in the UK that I want her to go stocked up with essential clothing, household items like sheets and towels, etc....and rain gear. Apparently she is going to need really good rain gear, too. LOL.

So thats the gist of it. Busy, busy and not much leisure time. But it is what it is and we will be ok. I may not be updating the blog as much as I would like over the next little while. I will do the best that I can but not making any promises. Besides, I keep hearing we have yet another hurricane on track to potentially hit us again. Katia...? Much too close to the name "Katrina", and I am not especially happy about it.

Should have stayed in bed....

My day started out with the realization that it was 7:00am and I was STILL in bed. Our alarm goes off at 6:20. I am generally meticulous about making sure the alarm is set before I go to bed. Apparently, having my husband out of town, and lots of chaos going on makes me forget things. God, I hate being late, too. If I am anything at all, it is punctual. I like schedules, and sticking to them. I am always put off, even slightly angered by people who breeze along, taking their time, and thinking its OK to be somewhere in the general time frame of a set meeting time. No, its NOT ok. If the time to be there is 8am, then BE there at 8am. If you know you can't or won't or have no inclination to be on time, then put that out there for people to know. Say, for instance, lets meet at 8-ish...But I digress into one of my pet peeves.

Today I was the late one, and that makes me crazy. I actually even considered calling in sick when I saw I had overslept. But then I have to be honest and confess that I think about that pretty much every single day that I wake up and think about going to work. My first thought is "Ugh!". My second thought is that with just a quick phone call I can make it go away....LOL.

So, I get to work a little late (maybe 15 minutes, but without coffee or breakfast, double ugh). The first thing I see is that the mail volume is really heavy, stuff is piled up everywhere and its just going to be one of those days. The second thing I see is one of our supervisors chewing out MY sub. You know I got a new sub a couple of months ago...she struggled, and still struggles a little bit but she IS going to make it. I wasn't so sure at first, but now I think she will be ok. If our management could stop picking on her. She's a little shy, nervous, and has a way of giggling if she is not sure about what is going on. I overheard just enough of the conversation....the supervisor was yelling at her for coming in to work just to see if they needed her. ??? She has picked up days that way...like if somebody calls in (like I almost did), then they have her there to cover it. I don't understand why you would want to yell at somebody for being...well...industrious and trying to work. Most of our subs sit at home and refuse to answer the phone. She has bailed them out of a bind on several occasions because she was there, just waiting to make sure everybody showed up. I can't even tell you how angry I got.

Anyway, because this scene was taking place in the middle of everything I walked away. But a few minutes later, I couldn't stand it. My sub had left, probably upset from being yelled at, but I don't know because I didn't get a chance to speak to her. I ended up getting into it with the supervisor over the whole incident. One thing I have figured out about this one particular supervisor, she is one big bad nasty bully....until you stand up to her and then she backs down. When I told her I didn't appreciate her verbally abusing my sub, she started to lay into me. She started with this "Its none of your business when I talk to one of the other employees". I told her I was making it my business if I thought it was someone who might not know the ropes yet, or understand her rights or how to protect herself.
It got ugly. There was yelling. But somehow I managed to stay clear-headed and concise and didn't lose my temper to the point of not being able to see straight.
By the end, with the whole office watching us, she was blubbering about how hard it was to be her, and how everybody blamed everything on her, and how everybody hated her. I said in all brutal honesty that the office was a laid-back pleasant place to be (well, more pleasant, not amazing pleasant) when she was NOT there. It is the truth. Nothing I said was untrue. Somehow we called a truce. Life went on. I got several congratulations from people who overheard us for "saying the truth loud and proud". (I also got a "tell it sister" too which almost made me laugh). By then I was almost an hour late with doing my actual job, but at least now she knows that she can't get away with treating my sub like a dog. I know her style. It will be a while before she tries that sh*t again. She will eventually, but not right away. Why do some people feel like they can get away with picking on the meeker ones who can't or won't get into a confrontation?

So anyway, I am home again finally, and it feels so good. Stephen and Hannia are most likely going to be arriving with all their stuff in a gigantic rental truck sometime tomorrow evening. Her parents might stay the night with us too. I really need to run to the grocery store, but not today. I have had enough for this one day.
I think I am just going to go take a nap and sleep off the bad vibes. I just hope to God I can remember to set that alarm tonight. I really don't want another day to start off like that again.

Oh, and also, Erica heard back from York. They would like her to start sometime around Dec. 1. Damn it I was really hoping it would be after Christmas but I guess not. The date is not set in stone, but the only reason it might would change is if her visa takes longer than usual to get. Everything is apparently completely dependent on the visa, so....can I bribe somebody in that office to "lose" it until after New Years? LOL....But anyway, having an actual date set Erica's mind at ease that the University hadn't suddenly changed its mind. She really really is going to live in England for reals. :)

My head is spinning

I haven't forgotten my blog, but I've been so overwhelmed these past few weeks. First of all, Bruce's Dad has been awfully sick and in Duke Hospital for almost a month now. I won't even go in to all the details, but it has taken a very long time to finally get a diagnosis. And even now...we don't have a firm diagnosis. The Dr.s THINK he has a type of neuroendocrine cancer. But all the tests seem to be inconclusive. He just had another biopsy today, which will require waiting until at least Thursday. And that is something I just don't understand....why does it take so long to get results? Obviously I don't know the lab procedures....but damn it, people are sick, families are anxious...seems like it could be done in a quicker way. But what do I know? Anyway, Bruce, Jeanne and Greg have all been trying to schedule it so that at least one of them can be there every day to follow what the Dr.s are saying. Barb has been there pretty much the whole time. It hasn't been easy for any of us, but its necessary. We hope Dad can get his strength back and start feeling better soon. There is still a long way to go but we are all feeling optimistic.

And while Dad is stuck in the hospital, Erica was offered a job, a post doc position at York University in Yorkshire England. She accepted it and is now waiting on the paperwork to make it officially official. Its been less than a week, but she hasn't heard anything in a couple of days and is feeling uneasy that somehow the opportunity will be ripped away from her. I doubt that. But she won't be comfortable until documents are signed. I am both thrilled and devastated. Well, devastated is probably too strong of a word, because I will be fine. Just like every other time the kids have left...for college, for grad school...I was really sad for a while but then managed to adjust. And the fact that I will get to plan visits, AND the fact that this has a 3 year limit will all help make it easier for me. I just need to figure out things like the best way to make international calls, and if we can still text, and those kinds of things. Apparently we can use skype on our computers for free, but it looks like skype-international for mobile phones has some kind of monthly fee. And maybe I am misunderstanding it, but it seemed like I could use skype only to call a UK landline, which I am fairly sure my daughter won't want to have. So, yeah....gotta get myself informed about all the options. If anybody has any suggestions as to the best ways to stay connected internationally, by all means, lay it on me.

And as if all of this wasn't enough to have going on, Stephen and Hannia are moving back to NC THIS weekend. They have been trying to find a subletter for their place in Lafayette. They finally found a good fit, but the guy needs it right away. Like Saturday right away because he is starting a new job there on Monday. Somehow, they are going to pack up their whole entire house in 3 days, get it loaded on a truck and move it all here to our house. It seems like a tremendous feat to accomplish, but the truth is that it makes me really happy. I wasn't thrilled with Indiana, and they REALLY weren't thrilled with it either. They will be here until they can find the right place for them in Durham...or Raleigh...or Chapel Hill. But it will be someplace in that area for sure. And when they move there, I won't even have to be sad because its close enough that we can drive there in about 2 hours. Hopefully the whole move will be smooth and easy. Well, it won't be exactly easy, packing, moving and driving 14 hours...but smooth and uneventful is more like it. Hannia's parents are flying up to help them and drive the rental truck so the kids can get both of their cars home at the same time.

So, say a prayer for us if you can spare it. A prayer for Dad's recovery, for Erica's new start in England and for safe travels for Stephen and Hannia. Its all going to be just fine. I know that. It is just a lot to take in all at one time.

Seriously?

Pop up pre-measured tape strips? Are you kidding me? Because tearing off a piece from a regular roll of scotch tape is just too difficult? Sometimes the ridiculousness (is that a word?) of certain useless products just amazes me. Like the Batter Blaster, because spooning or pouring pancake batter is just too inconvenient.
Or baby wipe warmers....maybe I suck as a Mom, but my babies had to endured room temperature wipes. Sorry darlings, I hope it hasn't scarred you for life. Who buys this junk? Did anybody actually buy the brownie pan with the compartments because cutting a pan of brownies is just way too hard? LOL. Who knows, maybe people said the same thing when pre-sliced bread hit the market.

Insane

Too much worrying and too few answers right now. Bruce's dad is still in the hospital, and not many answers forthcoming from there. I don't know what to do.
Well, I KNOW what we have to do but I don't like it....wait. And wait...and wait.
Wait for Dr.s to come around and give out some small shred of information. Wait on another test, another Dr. to explain the test....etc. I know its just the way it is, but patience is unfortunately NOT one of my virtues. We are just trying to remain hopeful and not let all the waiting wear down our optimism. If there was even some kind of Dr.s schedule we could count on. Some way of knowing that if nothing else, at 10am someone would be around to give us something. Even an "I don't know, but we are trying this, or that..." Right now its absolutely random. A Dr. might pop in at 8am or 10pm. Maybe once a day, maybe twice, who knows. The nurses, while wonderful, know nothing either. Stephen said he had read recently of hospitals trying to figure out ways to improve Dr./patient communication, and that would be fantastic if they can work it out.

We are also in limbo with Stephen and Hannia trying to get out of their apartment lease to follow through with plans to move back to NC. Right now, the rental agency is being rude and unhelpful. The kids MAY be able to sublet the place....but everything is unhappy and tense and so far the news hasn't been encouraging. Just as it is with Dad being sick, my hands are tied and I am unable to help the situation any. I hate feeling helpless when family/friends are going through something tough. Stephen is still job searching and as everybody knows, thats a tough market at the moment.....

We are a family in dire need of good news right now. Something uplifting and wonderful. Somebody, somewhere HAS to have something fabulous to say....right?
Anybody? I am sick of the heat wave and the drought and the federal government and their stupidity. Unemployment, defaulting on loans, hospital rooms, and rental agents with bad attitudes can all go straight to hell. I will even provide the implied handbasket, just let me know.....LOL. I know, I know....this too shall pass.
It has to. I need to vent a little but it will all be fine eventually. I really do believe that, no matter how much I whine and complain.

Right now

Right now its all about Bruce's Dad and getting him well and home from the hospital.
Seriously, its all we have done or thought about since he went into the emergency room at Duke last Friday. And right now, we still don't have any concrete answers. The doctors know what the problem is (chronic diarrhea), but not why it is happening. So....? We wait. And hope.

We did take a break last night because we had tickets to the 'American Idol season 10' concert in Raleigh. We spent the afternoon at the hospital and then drove over to the RBC center. We had a good time. I'm glad we went. I didn't have any specific favorites this year, and the winner, Scotty, was total country. I don't really get in to country music, but if you like it, then I suppose he IS good. Pia, a ballad ala Celine Dion kind of singer, and Casey a bass-playing jazz singer were more to my liking. But all of the top 11 were extremely talented. So talented it required a top 11 instead of the usual top 10. We both had to work today, so we sneaked out a little early. They saved Scotty for last and the crowd went wild when he came out. We listened to a couple of his songs, and then made a break for it so we could get out of the parking lot and impending snarl of traffic....whatever, we are old and late nights on work nights are tough. LOL.

Anyway, besides this oppressive heat and Dad's being sick, there is not a lot on my mind. But we are hanging in there and feeling optimistic that things will look up soon. :)