I received this in an email today....
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2.If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Things I wanted to say:
1. No, my laptop is NOT back yet. Its driving me crazy. The latest update is that they hope to have it back to me by the 15th...? Apparently they are having problems getting some part. Even though this is the HP repair center, and even though its less than a year old. You would think an HP repair center would actually have the necessary parts on hand. Maybe I am expecting too much?
2. My back....AARRRGGG! It got way better. To the point that I was only feeling a slight twinge now and then. But today I managed to screw that all up again. I have no idea what I did to it either. It hurts worse than ever.
I can't get comfortable sitting, standing or lying down. And this happens to suck. I am contemplating taking a couple of days off because my son graduates this weekend, and I WILL be there come hell or high water or extreme back pain. Maybe a couple of days of babying it will keep it in check? My body defies me right now.
3. My son....did I mention that he graduates this weekend? From college? I can't tell you how happy and proud I am. He struggled a little with spanish. And he had a string of unsavory roommates (remind me later to tell you about his sophomore year in the dorm with the kid we refer to as "the chronic masturbater"...oh my!). There were probably at least 3 separate occasions when I really thought he was going to just throw in the towel and give up. My son and I are genetically programmed to just give things up if it gets too hard. He came by that part honestly. My daughter and hubby....they are too competitve to throw in the towel.
Son and I.....well, we have always laughed at those cheesy horror movies that we watch and talk about how things get to a point where we would just go ahead and lay down and let the maniac ax-murderer just kill us. You know...like if I broke a nail while trying to escape. Haha. But he made it. And....he got the acceptance letter from grad school. Applied linguistics. Yeah, I am not really sure what that means, but it sounds important and all. He made it through and I am thrilled to go see him graduate this Saturday.
4. A horrifying story that I wanted to tell you. A friend of mine, Debbie, had an incident with her 9 year old daughter this past week-end. The girl was playing outside on Saturday when she felt something crawl up her back into her shirt. She went running into the house screaming that a lizard was on her. She was having a fit, crying and hysterical. When they shook out her shirt and started to pull it over her head, just guess what fell out? A 6-7 inch long baby water moccasin. Some people call them cottonmouths. But no matter what you happen to call it, those are extremely poisonous snakes and not something you want to mess around with. Luckily, it didn't bite that child. I would have died. Like had a massive heart attack and given up the ghost (refer to my survival tactics from #3). Even hearing that story has traumatized me.
5. Soon after graduation, we will be gearing up for my son's wedding. He certainly planned a whole lot of life-changing events for the month of May. But I am looking forward to all of this.
People keep asking me if I am feeling a little bit sad that I am losing my "baby" (well, he is the youngest child). And the answer to that is no. I don't feel like I'm losing anything at all. What I am really doing is gaining another daughter, and that is going to be an awesome thing. It changes the balance within the family structure to female dominance....hahaha. Girls RULE!!!!
6. My daughter's birthday is a little over a week away. I think she feels a little overshadowed by her brother's string of high profile events. But rest assured that we have not forgotten our beloved baby girl. She has made a big decision to take on a roommate and move into a house closer to campus. This is after living alone in an apartment for the past several years. Roommate is a guy, but for those of you who may be shocked by this, she swears they are just friends. She really is excited though. The wheels of interior decorating are turning. My child has a real ability to turn a plain ordinary space into something really unique and pretty. If science doesn't work out for her (I know it will, but ...) she could always get into the interior design field. I'm hoping to have some time over the summer to go up and visit her. I want to see the house and possibly give her some of those feng shui tips that make her eyes roll....haha.
She can make it pretty, but I want to make it have a positive energy flow. Yeah...I can pretty much sense the eye roll from here. hahaha.
2. My back....AARRRGGG! It got way better. To the point that I was only feeling a slight twinge now and then. But today I managed to screw that all up again. I have no idea what I did to it either. It hurts worse than ever.
I can't get comfortable sitting, standing or lying down. And this happens to suck. I am contemplating taking a couple of days off because my son graduates this weekend, and I WILL be there come hell or high water or extreme back pain. Maybe a couple of days of babying it will keep it in check? My body defies me right now.
3. My son....did I mention that he graduates this weekend? From college? I can't tell you how happy and proud I am. He struggled a little with spanish. And he had a string of unsavory roommates (remind me later to tell you about his sophomore year in the dorm with the kid we refer to as "the chronic masturbater"...oh my!). There were probably at least 3 separate occasions when I really thought he was going to just throw in the towel and give up. My son and I are genetically programmed to just give things up if it gets too hard. He came by that part honestly. My daughter and hubby....they are too competitve to throw in the towel.
Son and I.....well, we have always laughed at those cheesy horror movies that we watch and talk about how things get to a point where we would just go ahead and lay down and let the maniac ax-murderer just kill us. You know...like if I broke a nail while trying to escape. Haha. But he made it. And....he got the acceptance letter from grad school. Applied linguistics. Yeah, I am not really sure what that means, but it sounds important and all. He made it through and I am thrilled to go see him graduate this Saturday.
4. A horrifying story that I wanted to tell you. A friend of mine, Debbie, had an incident with her 9 year old daughter this past week-end. The girl was playing outside on Saturday when she felt something crawl up her back into her shirt. She went running into the house screaming that a lizard was on her. She was having a fit, crying and hysterical. When they shook out her shirt and started to pull it over her head, just guess what fell out? A 6-7 inch long baby water moccasin. Some people call them cottonmouths. But no matter what you happen to call it, those are extremely poisonous snakes and not something you want to mess around with. Luckily, it didn't bite that child. I would have died. Like had a massive heart attack and given up the ghost (refer to my survival tactics from #3). Even hearing that story has traumatized me.
5. Soon after graduation, we will be gearing up for my son's wedding. He certainly planned a whole lot of life-changing events for the month of May. But I am looking forward to all of this.
People keep asking me if I am feeling a little bit sad that I am losing my "baby" (well, he is the youngest child). And the answer to that is no. I don't feel like I'm losing anything at all. What I am really doing is gaining another daughter, and that is going to be an awesome thing. It changes the balance within the family structure to female dominance....hahaha. Girls RULE!!!!
6. My daughter's birthday is a little over a week away. I think she feels a little overshadowed by her brother's string of high profile events. But rest assured that we have not forgotten our beloved baby girl. She has made a big decision to take on a roommate and move into a house closer to campus. This is after living alone in an apartment for the past several years. Roommate is a guy, but for those of you who may be shocked by this, she swears they are just friends. She really is excited though. The wheels of interior decorating are turning. My child has a real ability to turn a plain ordinary space into something really unique and pretty. If science doesn't work out for her (I know it will, but ...) she could always get into the interior design field. I'm hoping to have some time over the summer to go up and visit her. I want to see the house and possibly give her some of those feng shui tips that make her eyes roll....haha.
She can make it pretty, but I want to make it have a positive energy flow. Yeah...I can pretty much sense the eye roll from here. hahaha.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
The Link...
My daughter asked me last night where I found that heinous chicken bag. So, I am going to provide you all with the link. From the tone of her voice, I doubt that she was asking so she could rush off and order the chicken bag. Honestly, I think she might have wanted the web site so she could ban it from her computer forever. Hahahaha. Anyway, the chicken bag was found at Catalog Favorites and you can peruse all of their fun stuff HERE.
Bad news/Good news
Bad news first, just to get it out of the way. I hurt my back earlier this week. Its a pulled muscle, nothing really serious. But man oh man did that thing hurt. I've been really lucky as far as back problems go. I've got some tense, achy shoulder muscles, but beyond that, I have never had any kind of back issues. A lot of people do, I know. And I also know it can be debilitating. Anyway, at first I thought I had done some serious damage. Pain-wise, that is. I waited about 24 hours, hoping it would go away on its on. But I ended up going to the doc because it felt so miserable.
Here is where the good news comes in....She determined that it was nothing more than a muscle injury, and she prescribed a strong anti-inflammatory, and a muscle relaxant. It has worked surprisingly well. I can still feel it when I move wrong, but other than that its basically gone by now. The REALLY good news: the anti-inflammatory has cleared up the tendon/pain issue with my foot. Yay! That has been bothering me off and on for over a year now. Ibuprofen makes it manageable, but I have been procrastinating going to the foot specialist and having him do the cortisone shots. I am squeamish about those needles. Anyway, something good came out of this and I am thrilled. I can wear heels to my son's graduation next week-end without walking like a 90 year old crippled lady. Oh, I was gonna wear those heels regardless. But now I can wear them without hobbling...Haha. And that.....makes me very happy. Whats that old saying about every cloud having a silver lining??? Maybe there is a little something to that after all!
Here is where the good news comes in....She determined that it was nothing more than a muscle injury, and she prescribed a strong anti-inflammatory, and a muscle relaxant. It has worked surprisingly well. I can still feel it when I move wrong, but other than that its basically gone by now. The REALLY good news: the anti-inflammatory has cleared up the tendon/pain issue with my foot. Yay! That has been bothering me off and on for over a year now. Ibuprofen makes it manageable, but I have been procrastinating going to the foot specialist and having him do the cortisone shots. I am squeamish about those needles. Anyway, something good came out of this and I am thrilled. I can wear heels to my son's graduation next week-end without walking like a 90 year old crippled lady. Oh, I was gonna wear those heels regardless. But now I can wear them without hobbling...Haha. And that.....makes me very happy. Whats that old saying about every cloud having a silver lining??? Maybe there is a little something to that after all!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
The world's ugliest...
Its no secret that I LOVE handbags. I look at them, shop for them all the time. I love checking out the vintage unusual bags on Ebay. I don't buy those usually. I'm not interested in collecting them. I only buy ones that I would actually use. I don't want the clutter of a bunch of unusable stuff, no matter how cool or collectible it happens to be.
Sometimes I run across some really interesting/ugly handbags. But tonight, while I was bored and doing a bit of online shopping, I found what might actually be the world's most ugliest handbag EVER. I can't stop looking at it. Like looking at a trainwreck I guess.
Behold:
The Chicken bag. I hope I don't offend anyone who likes chicken stuff. But this thing is beyond heinous. And yet....I can't seem to look away......
Anyway, I am still without my laptop. The repair status is that they are still waiting on a part.
And that status is starting to wear thin on my nerves. The update says that they expect this elusive part to be delivered to them tomorrow, and then they will expedite my beloved laptop to me in haste. We shall see. If I don't see a change in the status report by the time I get home from work tomorrow, I may have to get on the phone and give those slackers a piece of my mind. Not that I have much of that to spare, but seriously.....I want my baby back!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Updates
Still no laptop...:( I see on my service report that they are waiting for the arrival of a part...? I have NO idea how long that will take. I keep checking the repair status though. One day its going to give me some good news.
On a happier note, Bruce survived the saliva gland infection. He started the anti-biotics and was over it in just about a day. He is still taking the medication as directed though. I think. Hopefully he is anyway.
And...we are now in a serious countdown until wedding time. Its less than a month now. Is anybody nervous yet? hahaha As far as I know, neither of the kids have gotten cold feet and are backing out.
Anyway, just a quick check in right now, because I really don't like using this desktop computer.
The keyboard feels funny after getting used to a laptop. Also? I don't like being restrained in the study. I like to be able to move around, sit in my favorite spot on the sofa....etc....hopefully soon my life will get back to normal.
On a happier note, Bruce survived the saliva gland infection. He started the anti-biotics and was over it in just about a day. He is still taking the medication as directed though. I think. Hopefully he is anyway.
And...we are now in a serious countdown until wedding time. Its less than a month now. Is anybody nervous yet? hahaha As far as I know, neither of the kids have gotten cold feet and are backing out.
Anyway, just a quick check in right now, because I really don't like using this desktop computer.
The keyboard feels funny after getting used to a laptop. Also? I don't like being restrained in the study. I like to be able to move around, sit in my favorite spot on the sofa....etc....hopefully soon my life will get back to normal.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Out of Commission....
I am out of commission for a little while. My laptop bit the dust yesterday. Its relatively new.
I think I got it this past August...maybe? Anyway, its still under warranty, so that is good news.
The tech support person seems to think the motherboard just went belly up with no warning.
Its funny, because the thing has been running solid ever since I got it. Nary a glitch. Like ever.
But I turned it off yesterday for a while, and when I went to turn it back on.....nothing. It made me extremely sad. It has to be sent off so who knows how long this will take. In the meantime, Hubby has relegated me to this old desktop. I am not allowed to use his big important machine.
He thinks I will infect it with viruses from the suspicious places that I go (like online shopping, chat rooms....NOT porn or anything exciting like that). I am finding this most unacceptable. I am not used to the full-sized keyboard or mouse or anything. It kind of sucks.
So, I may not be writing a whole heck of a lot until my beloved laptop is back in my hands again.
Hopefully within a week or so...? Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?
And just so's you know, hubby has an infected saliva gland. Every time he eats it swells up and he looks like he has a case of the one-sided mumps. Apparently its not fun. I wouldn't know, as I have never had to deal with that before. He went to the Dr. this afternoon, so hopefully the anti-biotics will kick in and start to make him feel better soon.
I think I got it this past August...maybe? Anyway, its still under warranty, so that is good news.
The tech support person seems to think the motherboard just went belly up with no warning.
Its funny, because the thing has been running solid ever since I got it. Nary a glitch. Like ever.
But I turned it off yesterday for a while, and when I went to turn it back on.....nothing. It made me extremely sad. It has to be sent off so who knows how long this will take. In the meantime, Hubby has relegated me to this old desktop. I am not allowed to use his big important machine.
He thinks I will infect it with viruses from the suspicious places that I go (like online shopping, chat rooms....NOT porn or anything exciting like that). I am finding this most unacceptable. I am not used to the full-sized keyboard or mouse or anything. It kind of sucks.
So, I may not be writing a whole heck of a lot until my beloved laptop is back in my hands again.
Hopefully within a week or so...? Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?
And just so's you know, hubby has an infected saliva gland. Every time he eats it swells up and he looks like he has a case of the one-sided mumps. Apparently its not fun. I wouldn't know, as I have never had to deal with that before. He went to the Dr. this afternoon, so hopefully the anti-biotics will kick in and start to make him feel better soon.
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