I made it!!!

I survived Christmas this year, and I even had fun. I had this one meltdown on Christmas Eve, when the sadness of missing Erica really closed in on me. I had a good cry but was able to pull it together. But Christmas Day was fine. Good even.
We set up Bruce's laptop in the middle of the morning gift opening, and she tuned in on Skype, so it was "almost" like she was with us. In a weird and funny way....but still. She was there.

And I got an iPad 2 tablet. It came as a major surprise. I had mentioned the idea of a Kindle Fire, but never even considered an iPad. I know it is supposed to be a lot more versatile, but my husband has a deep-rooted dislike of Apple. OMG this thing is amazing. I still don't know probably a 10th of what it can actually do. I DO know that I can download books from iBooks AND Kindle. Stephen put the Kindle app on it yesterday. It looks like its going to be a fantastic e-reader. But also, a tablet computer. Its fast and responsive, but its a lot different than my laptop. Like, there is no right click for stuff. I have a whole lot to figure out, but thats part of the fun......I am so excited about it.

Stephen was here. Chris and Jessica came over yesterday afternoon. We had a big dinner of roast beef, and all the fixings. Yummy. And then we had plenty of cranberry Mimosas and played Wii games until we were all exhausted. There was a lot of laughter, and hilarity, and the day passed without my even having time to remember that I was worried about being excruciatingly sad.

I think today is going to be a lazy day. Maybe even an "I am not getting out of pajamas" day. I am going to clean up a little of the Christmas chaos (I was too busy yesterday), play around with my iPad and try to figure more of it out, and there might even be a nap in my future. I hope you all had a fantastic holiday too. Now its time to look forward to a whole new year. I love those fresh starts.

Merry Christmas to All

So, we had a little Christmas gathering with Stephen and Hannia last night. Unfortunately, it looks like Hannia is going to be driving to Texas with her parents, and Stephen is staying in Greenville. But we went out to eat, and came home and opened gifts. This is what the kids gave me. It took me a second or 2....I thought it was a really cool frame. Then I saw cats....then it dawned on me that these were MY cats....and I teared up. Hannia really is an amazing photographer. I try constantly to get good pictures of my darlings, but it never happens. First of all, the lighting has to be perfect for the features of a black cat to show up....and secondly, I can never get them to be still, look at the camera, etc. My attempts usually end up with kitties hiding under beds until I go away. That she got such good pictures, especially of Vixen, the black cat who looks like an angel here, but is curmudgeonly and grumpy most of the time....it must be a Christmas miracle. LOL. Seriously.

I love that they got a good picture of Brock in there, even though he has just joined the family. And I also love that Geico the lizard (chameleon? is it the same thing?) is in there, and Chipmunk the mouse that was rescued over Thanksgiving.
I can't tell you how much I LOVE this!!!! Oh, and we came home after dinner last night to find that my friend Ana had made us a tray of homemade tamales. Oh yummy delicious.....I feel so blessed.

Right now, on Christmas Eve morning, I have to run out and buy food for dinner tomorrow. We have been so busy, working so late, there has been NO time for it yet.
Wish me luck that the grocery store is not too picked over and I can find what we need. Bruce wants roast beef....so I need to run and find one. I hope all of you feel the love and the blessings that I feel right now. And yes....I have teared up a couple of times missing Erica, but she is having fun in Merry old England and its all going to be ok. Love you my daughter. Whenever I get sad, I just start thinking about planning our trip to see her. Love to all,
R

p.s. Speaking of my daughter-in-law and her mad photography skills, she is thinking of volunteering to take photos of the animals at the Humane Society here in Pitt Co. Good photos on Petfinder make a huge difference in adoptions, and she made me so happy when we talked about this last night. The Humane Society is, of course, a cause very near to my heart. I know they would be absolutely thrilled to have her work with them.

Many Thanks!!

This is a blog post from one of my favorite authors, Paulo Coelho. My favorite book of his is "The Alchemist", which I found right at a time when I needed it the most, not long after my mother passed away. He published this post a few days ago, and once again, at a time when I need to be reminded that things change and its OK.
It also reminds me of something another favorite author of mine said, "This world can offer you nothing of lasting value due to its impermanent nature." Eckhart Tolle



Words of Paulo Coelho:

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.
Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.

You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister.
Everyone is finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.

Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.

Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.

Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”

Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.
Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need.
This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.

Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.


Stop being who you were, and change into who you are......I found those words to be simple but wise. And also, empowering in some way. I think I found what I want to make my New Year all about. Thank you Mr. Coelho. You keep popping up to help right when I need you.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

I guess I am growing up (finally)

Maybe I am growing up. Ok, I KNOW that I am 49 years old, with a husband, 2 grown children, a daughter-in-law, a full time job and a house to take care of. You would think that would make me an adult by default, wouldn't you? But no, because I still feel like I am playing house, waiting for the "real" adults to step in when a problem arises. And yet, maybe I am finally becoming the "real" adult. My first hint of this was over the upcoming holiday. I admit it, I was sad that Erica had to leave for the UK before Christmas. And then when Hannia's family made plans to have Christmas in Texas, I was sad all over again. Christmas without either of my kids???? I knew it was inevitable at some point, seeing as how they are both grown with lives of their own.....but I really REALLY was hoping that day was some time in the far distant future. Oh well....

Stephen has not been certain he would be able to go with Hannia. Time constraints (her parents are driving and its 23 plus hours WITHOUT the stops) are making it difficult. And money factors in as airfare is expensive this time of the year. Its still not clear whether or not he can go. They are watching airfare prices and hoping for a last minute drop. If not, Hannia may still go with her parents to help drive. For a while, I was selfishly kind of hoping he would be home. With us. At least one of my children here for Christmas. But over the past few days, I realized that I was hoping he could go. Would go. Because it will be sad to be away from Hannia for the holiday. And we will be fine. Really, we are going to be relaxing and enjoying the end of the most hectic time of the year at work. I am making a dinner, but nothing too over the top complicated. A few goodies....a few presents....mainly just laid back relaxation. We have invited Chris and Jessica to be with us....And I am ok with all of that. And that fact? The fact that I would rather him go be with Hannia and have a Happy Holiday someplace else, someplace away from his family? That is the proof that I am all grown up and ready to accept that life is all about changes. And changes don't mean "bad". Just different. And we can all have fun and be happy even if we aren't in the same place on Christmas Day. I feel like I need some kind of rite of passage ceremony to celebrate my newly found grown-up-edness. LOL!!

In My Dreams...

One year for Christmas (NOT this one obviously, or even next one as it will be Erica's first time back in the US after a year) I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have a tropical Christmas. Not a cruise, but a serious beach vacation. Someplace in the Caribbean maybe. A week at an oceanfront resort where somebody will hand me pina colodas as I sit and contemplate Happy Holiday thoughts on the beach. One day my dream will come true. In the meantime, other than NOT being out there basking on a warm sunny beach, things are good here.

Cats hate roofers

The roofers finally arrived today after having us wait since the hurricane back in early September. There are plenty of folks around here STILL waiting, so I guess we are lucky. They are crazy-loud though, and it scares the daylights out of our cats. But Vixen is out and about tonight, and even ate a little bit of dinner. That is a VAST improvement over the last time we had roof work done 2 years ago. She stayed under our bed for about 48 hours AFTER they left. I was scared she was going to starve to death. So....maybe she is becoming a bit more flexible. The cats are also a little upset about Brock, but will eventually adjust. Brock is hanging out in the garage, having to be closed up entirely in there right now because of the roofers, who are going in and out of the back gate, so....we can't just let him have free run of the backyard. I think he was scared of the noise, too. Poor thing, he had a long ride in a carrier, came home to a strange place and immediately has to suffer the roofing hoopla. Hopefully the roof will be done by tomorrow evening and life can get back to normal. We brought him inside for a while this afternoon. He did NOT like the other cats. But he did use the litter box without our coaxing him. So that was good news. Maybe he can be inside more than we originally thought (he has been an outdoor cat for 10 years now). He seems to be happy to have his bed, has been eating like a little piggy, and using the litter box I set up in the garage.....so I think he has made a good start to get himself situated here. I've learned from experience that cats take a minimum of 2 weeks to get used to a new pet in the family. Vixen took almost 6 months to stop freaking out over Samantha...but with time, it seems to work itself out. It will be fine.

Erica is doing really well in York. She is settled into her new place, has decided that she doesn't mind the small space so much. We have skyped and IM'd enough that I feel a lot less worried, although I DO still miss her. She went out with a group of people from work on Saturday night, so apparently is meeting people and making new friends. She is going to an Indian food curry dinner tomorrow night that the post docs try to do occasionally. And the department Christmas dinner will be on Thursday. And before you know it, she will get to see her friend Tara in Munich for New Years. I think she is making the adjustment really well. And as much as I miss her and hate how far away she is, I am thrilled that she is happy and having a good time. I would be so upset if she were sad and homesick and wondering if the move was all a big mistake. What an adventure!!!

Stephen and Hannia are doing well, too. They are settled into their new place, and have put up the official "Christmas Branch". I hope Hannia will post some pictures soon. I haven't seen it yet, but I will run over for a visit soon. Stephen is enjoying writing for Patexia, an online news site. Go check it out if you have the time. He has gotten great evaluations from his bosses, and having this writing experience is incredibly valuable. He has an interview with a company here in Greenville this week, but I don't know all of the details about that yet. I wish him well. Its been wonderful having both of them back in town again, and I know it might not last forever (if he gets the funding for research he will be off and running for a PhD program...applications have all been sent, so....). But I am not going to worry about that right now. I am just going to relax and enjoy for as long as it lasts. All in all everything is good here. I hope you all have some wonderful things going on wherever you are too!

A River Runs Through It

Erica posted some pictures on Facebook of some fairly substantial flooding along the banks of the Ouse River that runs through York City Centre. I finally had to Google just how to pronounce the river's name. I was thinking it might rhyme with "house", because...well....its the same except for the "H", right? Or maybe, it rhymed with "Aussie", with a long E on the end. What do I know? Apparently, not much because it is actually pronounced "ooze". Not such a pretty name for what looks to be a really pretty river. But I want to be able to say it right when I visit.

A couple of months ago, I was listening to another one of my books on CD. I listen to them while I am in the car ALL the time, and I get them from the library. I don't get my hands on the latest releases that way, not for a long time....but it has also given me a chance to listen to books I might never have actually chosen if I stuck to the current best seller list. I have heard dozens of interesting, compelling stories that way. But I digress....I can't remember the title of this particular book, but I do remember that it was set in New Bern, NC. New Bern is a gorgeous little town, if you ever get the chance to visit. The waterfront area is particularly pretty, with cute little shops and restaurants. But anyway, the narrator of this book (it was a man, I do remember that part) kept pronouncing the Neuse River there in New Bern as "noise" river. Or more of a shorter "s" sound like it would rhyme with "Joyce". It took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about. If you live in this area, you would know it as "Noose" river. Or sort of a "Nyoose", the same n-y sound you might use when saying "New". Newoose, I guess,if that makes any sense at all. LOL. I enjoyed the story, wish I could remember...maybe it was "The Wedding" by Nicholas Sparks. Was that set in New Bern?
I do know that The Wedding was romantic and it made me teary. But I still was annoyed by that mispronunciation...LOL!